Ha ha ha ha ha ha fucking ha

How much does a cockney pay for shampoo?

Pantene.

I thank you.

They value my call

I've just spent about seven fucking hours listening to some automaton telling me how much they value my call, although that value evidently stops just short of paying someone to actually answer the fucking thing,

Leonard Cohen

I like the fella, but:

"Like a bird on the wire,
Like a drunk in a midnight choir,
I have tried in my way to be free."

I'm afraid I just don't understand this.

Red kites

I could knock a red kite out of a tree with an apple from the bedroom window - which I think, on balance, is a good thing. Mind you, thinking about it, the kite is a sturdy bird, so it would probably take something like a bramley to knock it off a branch.

Carnage

One thing I have learned as a father is that you really need to make sure that ALL soft toys you buy can sit up without support.

Book review

I have just finished reading 'Untitled' by 'Anon' (waterproof - free with baby magazine).

Frankly I found it disappointingly vague.