Why oh why oh why?

According to those faceless Brussels bureaucrats, it is apparently NOT OK to punch an owl anymore. Well, I say ‘punch’, but I understand that the new EU Owl Twatting Directive is so heavy-handed that it makes it nigh on impossible to even push an owl, nudge it, encourage its movement via gentle prodding, tell it forcibly to get a shift on or otherwise interfere with its normal movement in any way at all. Ludicrous!

2009's better moments #1

Album of the year?  Well, you'd be hard pushed to find a better one than The Phantom Band's 'Checkmate Savage'. In fact you won't find one, so stop looking. Give it up. You're wasting your bloody time.

Click here for the video: Phantom Band - 'The Howling'

The devil sits in the quiet carriage

I got the opportunity to experience the quiet carriage the other day, for the first time ever.

I'll admit, I was a bit giddy with excitement at the prospect of a whole carriage full of middle-aged, miserable, misanthropic pedants just waiting for the opportunity to quote railway by-laws to anyone careless enough to sneeze at a volume in excess of eight decibels.

Thank you First Great Western, but...

I know how to sit down, I know how the sodding doors work, I know what a buffet car sells - there's no need to list every item individually although I thank you for confirming to me that tea and coffee are examples of hot drinks, that cold drinks can be either carbonated or non-carbonated and that possible sandwich fillings include cheese, ham, chicken and tuna,

Lust for insurance

No, no, no, no, no.

Like everyone else, I have long suspected that television commercials are simply the moron’s wet-nurse – a load of half-invented, half-remembered horse shit set to a jaunty musical backing in order to trick us into filling our lives with stuff we don’t need or want.

I am not amazed

I’ve got to be honest, I’m not often amazed. Confused, disinterested, sick to the very core of my cold, dead soul… but rarely amazed.